Why People 唐’t Want the ‘Real’ 您

Why People 唐’t Want the ‘Real’ 您


      • Exactly. This is why Apple is so 流行 和everybody has an iPhone. 那里 是 several phones that I can think of that dominates that iphone, but 人 buy it because 他们 think it makes 他们 look cool or hip. Hah.

        MAC计算机也是如此。关于外观的一切,Apple都知道,’s why 他们 come out with a 新er version every 6 months 和just rake in the cash.

        People buy stuff 他们 do not need all the time 和any true marketer will capitalize on this.

  1. 优秀报价….

    “The emergence of social media has allowed 人 to forget Marketing 101, 和go right back to egocentrism.”

    • 或者如真正表达的那样:

      “Yo I’ll say 您 what I want, what I 真实ly 真实ly want
      So 告诉 me what 您 want, what 您 真实ly 真实ly want
      I’ll 告诉 您 what I want, what I 真实ly 真实ly want
      So 告诉 me what 您 want, what 您 真实ly 真实ly want
      I wanna huh, I wanna huh, I wanna huh, I wanna huh, I wanna 真实ly
      真实ly 真实ly wanna zig a zig ah”

  2. It’s funny to me that 您 put this up today, since I just did one of those “27 Things 您 唐’t Know 关于 Me”我揭示的帖子“the 真实 me”… 🙂

    But even those types of posts 是 structured. Sure, 他们 have some revealing details, but the leave out the part about how I takes my frustrations out on my husband, how I’众所周知,如果不进行良好的清洁,就让浴室走一两个月,或者在遇到令人沮丧的情况时,我如何不恰当地哭泣。

    您’re right – it’这是我们创建的故事的所有部分-感谢您分享这一观点。

  3. 布赖恩,

    This is an amazing post. Very true though. Storytelling is one of the best ways to 连接 with someone 和to teach 他们. Stories 是 often loaded with many different 他们es 和lessons. In most cases, the best storytellers 是 the one’s who 是 successful. By 告诉ing a story that 人 can relate to 和gain insight from, 人 feel a deep 连接ion with 您 和您 become “real” to 他们, even as if 他们 know 您 personally.


  4. This question is interesting, because focusing on the other person always takes a tiny slice out of work 您 do. I’ve not found the compromise to be worth it. Rather, I prefer to create an 真实 piece 和let folks take from it what 他们 will. If I’ve reached down into myself far enough, my feelings 和conclusions should be similar to those of my readers. When a 写r achieves that level of introspection, thinking about the 听众 is not necessary. Thanks for 您r thoughts! I enjoyed reading the 文章.

    • Doug, the great thing about the Internet is 您 can basically be 您rself 和still find an 听众. But that just means 您’re accidentally 告诉ing 他们 a story 他们 want to hear, as opposed 去做ing it purposefully.

      与此相关的另一个问题太普遍了— the 人 您 attracted with the “real” 您 是 incompatible with 您r business goals. In other words, 他们 like what 您 say, but don’t want what 您’re selling. At that point 您’ll need to adapt to 您r existing 听众 or start over with a 新 story 和a different group of 人.

      • What 您 just said right here, 布赖恩, “…the 人 您 attracted with the 真实 您 是 incompatible with 您r business goals” is 发现. I’m a 63 year 您ng Boomer who has been in sales 和marketing for the last 40 years, 和both 您 和Seth 是 correct. A goal is a story where 您 have to fill in the details later. But 您 have GOT to watch whom 您 attract with the ‘real 您’.

        Do 他们 have the capacity to become compatible with my goals? How? Who changes most?


  5. Very good post, 布赖恩, 和it raises some interesting points about 真实ity. Once 您r carefully-cultivated tastes (cultivated to establish 您rself as an outsider or ahead of the curve or whatever) do become commodified, it’s difficult to maintain that level of 真实ity without adopting a 新 set of tastes that once again position 您 outside of the masses.

    那 being said, I can think of at least a couple of examples of marketers who 真实ly do present an 真实 face through their internet personas: Rae Hoffman-Dolan (aka Sugarrae) 和Lisa Barone of Outspoken Media. And 他们 是 both very successful. Granted, their approach won’t work for everyone, but it definitely works for 他们.

    So I think there 是 真实ly two distinct points about 真实ity. First, cultivated 真实ity is actually inauthentic, 和as marketers we need to be aware of the storytelling aspect behind what 人 buy, 和play to it. Second, 真实ly being 您rself as a marketer/blogger/internet personality/whatever can be a very effective strategy.

    也许吧’s not so much that 人 don’t necessarily want the 真实 您 as that 他们 don’t necessarily want the 真实 他们.

    • Interesting that 您 mention Lisa Barone, because she’s the first to 告诉 您 that her 线上 persona is an amplified version of one aspect of her total self. Meeting her in person is a quite different experience (although I like her in person maybe a bit more).

      雷是雷,毫无疑问。但是雷’主要商业模式不’t depend on 人 喜欢 her personally, so she truly just 说 和does whatever she wants. So while not everyone likes her, me 和a bunch of other 人 like her a whole lot. 😉

    • 我可以想到许多以他们而闻名的互联网名人“authenticity” who have a very different face in 真实 life. Not because 他们’re lying or faking, but because 真实 personalities 是 more complicated than public personas.

      In general, the ones who 是 known for being cranky 是 in fact much gentler than 他们 seem, 和the ones who have a saintly 和kind public persona 是 more cranky 和salty in person.

      他们 “really being 他们selves,” but what 他们 share in their 线上 personas isn’t a complete picture of who 他们 是 — as 布赖恩 说 about Lisa, it’s one aspect.

  6. 最近,我尝试用不同的方式对此进行排序– that 您r 真实ity comes from either 您r head (ego) or 您r heart (beliefs). Either way, it’s who 您 think 您 是, 和indeed much of that is based upon societal conditioning.

    So, I like 您r idea of forgetting about all of that 和using it to accomplish a useful purpose – helping others to reinforce something in 他们selves that 他们 can get excited about.

    ew!看起来像我们’重新回到帮助我们的社区。幸运的是’对我们大多数人来说都很清楚。 --

  7. I just got home from GenCon Indy, where I ran speed dating events 和did several talks about being more successful in 线上 dating. While there, I met a guy who was like, “我想把我所有人都放在我的约会资料中。所有的。好的零件。坏的部分。坚固的部分。弱点。我想确定我吸引的女人想要我所有人。”

    What I explain to my clients is exactly what 您 said above. Potential dates –完全陌生的人!– don’t want to see all of 您 in 您r dating profile. 他们 want to see the 您 that fits into Their life story. Deep down, 他们 understand that all 人 have imperfections, quirks, 和bad days. But 他们 don’t want to think about that before 他们’ve met 您. 您 need to sell 他们 on the Best 您 和then as 您 date, the 真实 您 comes out in tiny, manageable chunks.

    Which reminds me, I should totally 写 a blog post about this. Thanks for being inspiring, 布赖恩. 🙂

    • I totally agree with 您r analogy between the two “audiences”

      同时“honesty” 和the “沟通能力”对很多女人很高’s list of traits of the ideal man as 您 said 您 cant be/do either in meeting a woman.

      Its that same as customers that say / think 他们 want “authentic” – but only as long as its what 他们 want to hear, a story that makes 他们 feel good about 他们selves.


  8. I disagree with 您. Maybe “authentic marketing”(如这篇文章的网址)没有’t exist, but 真实ity is key to business. And yes, this might lead to a smaller 听众, so if reaching the masses is 您r goal then maybe 您’re better off playing around. Focusing on 您r readers/buyers instead of 您rself is fine, but 您 need to keep it 真实 和not put a brand together that 人 should believe in. We all have our bad days, it shows that we’re human!

    Everyone is full of stories that matter. My site is built around personal stories, our own identity 和being 真实. I am the same person 线上 和offline. Maybe that won’不能让我成为百万富翁,但我不会’不想用其他任何方式。

    • Esther, if 您 look at what I wrote, 和what 您 wrote, 我不’t think we disagree at all. If 您 是 连接ing with 您r 听众, it’s because 他们 find 您 真实, not because 您 think 您 是. It’当方程式的两边都聚在一起时,它非常酷,但是’s still the 听众 who makes the call on how 他们 perceive 您.

      让’s try a thought experiment. 让’s say 您’re a total sociopath (bear with me) who made up all those personal stories 您 told. Maybe 您’re not even a woman.

      Would that change one thing about how 您r 听众 perceives who 他们 think “you” 是? Not one bit — unless 他们 found out the 真相. 的stories “you” 告诉 连接 with 他们 because it meshes with their own stories.

      Again, the Internet makes finding the 人 您 naturally 连接 with easier than ever, 和potentially profitable. But there 是 some 人 thinking 他们 have to be truly “real” 和wondering why no likes 他们. 😉

      • Hi 布赖恩, I hear what 您 say. True, 您 can’t influence how 您 come across to the other party. But I think 您 have to be an extremely professional liar to make up all kinds of stories that seem 真实, not well-written fiction, 和still integrate 他们 into a believable persona.

        It’s always a good thing to be wary on the internet 和know that who 您’re talking to might not be who 他们 actually 是, or not 100% anyway. However, the 真相 will emerge soon enough once 您r 听众 members’ intuition kicks in 和finds the discrepancies, or when 他们 recognize it’s all rainbows 和no flaws what the author/liar is 告诉ing 他们.

        我不’t think there’s anything wrong with being completely 真实, 和acknowledging that 您 won’那样请大家。也就是说,我确实认为’s a privacy line somewhere that 您 shouldn’t cross – I mean, we don’不想知道每一个丑陋的细节。但是同时显示正面和负面的一面确实可以描绘出更圆滑的景象。

        And I definitely love to help other 人 告诉 their story, as 您 said in the 文章, if what I say resonates with 他们.

  9. 我没’t sure how to let this sink in with me as I was reading it, but I 真实ly enjoyed the t-shirt analogy 您 have. I started thinking why I would buy an 真实 looking t-shirt (which I love spending time looking through at Targets, etc.). I enjoy reading 他们 because 他们 make me smile 和make me nostalgic of when I was a kid 和had shirts like that (or wanted 他们 和the conservative mother wouldn’t let me have 他们). As I started buying my own clothes, I did get shirts like that –但经过多次尝试“clean up” 和organize my life through the years, most of 他们 were donated.
    那些衬衫–无论是保存的还是最近购买的,都将其更多地保存为相册中的照片–看着,保持整洁,让我微笑。所以你让我问自己“Is this who my ‘real’ self is?”我知道是什么让我开心–是的,不仅仅是T恤衫,但是我觉得我必须把它们藏在抽屉里作为我自己的小秘密吗?怕妈妈的声音告诉我吗’给我自己是错误的印象(等等)– I may know it’是错的,但我仍然没有’杀死了妈妈的声音– an entirely other issue). Is it, as 您 noted, the knowledge that 人 will jump to conclusions about me and, to me, it’只是不值得吗?是因为我知道我是在Target或类似公司购买的,并且知道我’我是第4类的装扮者,即使我以前可能拥有同一件衬衫?
    感谢您以如此清晰的类比考虑这一点,以便我可以更进一步地确定我的身份“real” self, 和therefore my 真实 voice. Great piece! I look forward to more.

  10. So true. . . 和so sad, the commodification. Back in the day, I remember painstakingly unstitching the seams on a pair of blue jeans 和re-making 他们 into a long jean skirt. A couple of years later, clothing companies started manufacturing denim skirts but 他们 were NOT the same. How about tie dying? In my hippie days, we could tie dye a garment 和know that it would be abso-positively unique. Then manufacturers started selling stuff that looked tie-dyed.

    Or how about the well worn, well broken in jeans. . . now 您 can buy 他们 with 假 wear spots 和holes.

    Personally I feel sorry for all these wannabe 真实 types who 是 so out of touch with 他们selves 他们 don’t know and/or can’t express who 他们 是.


    • 我不’t think it’s about having to be 假 … it’s more about making sure that what 您 put out there is relevant to 您r customers.

      It’s a bad idea 去做 anything that makes 您 cringe. 您r customers will pick it up 和will steer clear.

      But 您 also don’t need to expect 您r 听众 of potential customers to be 您r shrink. 他们 don’无需随时了解每一个身体机能,每一个沉闷的时刻,每一个不安全感。你不’t need to share absolutely every aspect of 您r life with 他们 (and it’s not 真实ly a great idea in terms of 您r personal safety, either).

  11. 大多数企业花费大量时间来开发和修饰旨在做两件事的公众面孔– build “trust”并最大化利润。

    至少在90’s we flaunted “greed was good”如今我们只是撒谎和弥补狗屎–IMO我们还有更多“authentic” then.

    If 您 ever think that any company or 线上 persona is truly “authentic”考虑客户服务部门。

    的way we ask 他们 to smile 和apologies when its the customers %*^* up, how we apologies to 人 that ring up mad at tech support yelling at 人 when the issue its entirely their fault or being “diplomatic” when some idiot 写s stupid comments on 您r 您tube channel or facebook wall.

    客服部什么时候可以“authentic” ie 告诉 it like it is, take responsibility for what is responsible 和告诉 the customer when when its their fault, 和still do business without push back from the market, then 和only then will the “audience” 真实ly want “authentic”.

    人们不’t want “real” or “authentic” in business or in life in general 他们 just want to be right.

  12. 那里 is so much to say here that I almost don’不知道从哪里开始。四点:

    真实性这个概念已被扭曲为20世纪末/ 21世纪初的心理大招。不确定它是否具有意义了。我们被迫在开始使用它之前就对其进行定义。

    的线上 world is a world of consumption. We consume information. Yes, it is nice to know that there is a 真实 person that is writing the blog post I am reading. Yes, knowing 他们 是 a 真实 person adds to the authority behind what 他们 say. I read THIS blog or THAT blog because it provides value to me AND because I feel I can 相信 the person who 写s it because I see their track record over time. In the end do I 真实ly care if 他们 是 真实 or just someone who happens to have proven 他们 know what 他们 是 talking about?

    How does 真实ity fit in with value? I follow 人 (rss/+/twitter) to learn/grow/expand. When 人 spend too much time talking about their lunch, complaints, problems 和snarkiness, I unfollow 和unsubscribe. Too much “authentic” noise.

    最后是’t it about customer service? When 您 walk into a store do 您 真实ly want the store personnel to be 真实? No. 您 want 他们 to provide 您 value. Meaning, 您 want 他们 to 1) help 您 with whatever 您 need 2) do it in a warm way (not snarky, but friendly) 3) if 他们 do their job correctly, 他们 instill gratitude in 您r heart. Is a website any different? If 您 have a website (of any kind) 您 是 in the customer service business. For bloggers that means 您 写 with a smile 和if 您 是 doing 您r job right, 您r readers will express thankfulness. 我不’t think in the end 他们 care if 您 是 “authentic” or not.

    奖励积分:甚至在帖子中提到Joy Division的三倍荣誉!

  13. Interesting insights, 布赖恩.

    I can see how this would be true for the internet since 您 can basically weave any story 您 want about 您rself 线上. Obviously this is also the case in other more traditional mediums – I’我见过广播脱口秀节目主持人,他们在空中差点儿疯了似的,并以令人难以置信的害羞而脱身。和我’确保许多演员,喜剧演员等都是如此。

    I’ve even done this subconsciously while beginning to build my own brand 线上 – I’m much less outgoing in person than I am on the Internet. But, since part of schpeel is living true to 您rself, I still stick to my values even when I’夸大了我的个性和经验。

  14. Hi 布赖恩,
    I knew 您 on Google+ 和follow 您r contents from a few weeks.
    I found 他们 deeply interesting 和nicely ironic, so I decided in a minute to attend 您rs 和Sonia’的SmartPeople课程。
    Now after reading 您r post about autenticity 和the narrative face of marketing I feel a little less skeptick, 真实ly.
    I think here 您 succeded in 告诉ing a part of a story that is about me, in some way.


  15. Thanks for another angle on 真实ity. I’至少在一年左右的时间里,我就一直在围绕这一概念进行滚动’我们已经看到了它多久被以不同的方式使用和过度使用“transparent” 和the like.

    “Match 他们 with aspects of 您rself”…I’ve been playing around for awhile with what aspects of myself I want to share as a 写r 和who the “them”是,依此类推’s been interesting, to say the least, to see how 人 respond. It’s also been interesting for me to see how I react as I follow certain 人 和then I learn something about 他们 that’有点令人惊讶…sounds 真实, certainly, 和maybe it’我不想在那个人身上看到我自己的一个方面,因为我’试图提高技能或降低不良习惯等。也许吧’只是我不愿与之相关的事情。也许是的,我明白了,这启发了我….

    Sometimes 告诉ing the 真实ly grungy sides of things–man, I am having a 真实ly sucky day, or whatever–is ok if the 写r somehow shows the value in that 和isn’t just griping. I’我想起我跟随的某人,他会因为自我曝光而表现出很大的反感,并且超越了一些自白的人,但是他’有大量追随者(hardcorezen.blogspot.com)。

    I think it all depends on the goal, the niche, the 听众, 和so on. And while it can be tough to define 真实ity, it’通常很容易发现BS。感谢您的深思。

  16. 人们想要highlight-reel 您. Ex. People watch 真实ity television, but 他们 wouldn’观看同一个节目,演员要睡两个小时。

    人们想要“我需要你” 您. Ex. Readers love authors, but 他们 don’t love 他们 if the authors 是”real”他们的想法,并以读者没有’t like.

    随你“you” 您 present, make sure it’s less boring than the lives of 您r 听众.

    • 真实ity TV is a 真实ly good example. It’s so heavily edited that at times it completely distorts what actually happened, but it feels 真实 和that feeling is very satisfying to viewers.

      哪个不是’t to say 人’市场营销应该完全歪曲事实。 -我想布莱恩’s point is more that a little editing can help the feeling of 真实ity quite a bit — 和that if it isn’t relevant & interesting to the 听众, it doesn’t belong in 您r communication.

      这是一个棘手的话题,这可能就是为什么戈丁’s 所有营销人员都是骗子 (which I think is one of his best) freaked 人 out.

  17. 所有这些对我来说都是有意义的。一世’我主要不是营销人员;一世’m primarily a personal/memoir blogger, 和even though that means that my product is me, my 线上 persona is still a character based on me. As 听众s grow for personal bloggers 和other 写rs of memoir-based nonfiction, that becomes more 和more true, as readers develop expectations based on what has come before.

    老实说,它从个人博客中吸取了一些生命,’s a phenomenon I’m always struggling against, but it is what it is. In any case, I prefer the term integrity to 真实ity. I can’t show 您 everything that I am using nothing but words on a computer screen, but at least I can make sure that I am showing 您 a legitimate piece of myself.

  18. 真实性 is an enigma 真实ly. We all have different groups of 朋友们, 和we tend to act differently to each group. 您 wouldn’t likely behave in the presence of 您r grandparents as 您 would with 您r old college buddies. So who is the “real” 您? 好他们 all 是 – 您’re just presenting 您rself differently.

    I think the point more is to not compromise 您r character to an extent whereby the true 您 is unrecognisable. This is of course a massive grey 是a, but I think it’s pretty easy to know when 您 have become “fake”.

    Keep it 真实 人!

    • 汤姆,那个’s right. 您 need to find the right aspect of 您 to match up with 您r intended 听众. Is it the professional 您, the irreverent 您, or the kind 和generous 您? To a certain extent, all sides will usually make an 出现ance from time to time, but it’s the core persona 您 choose that will create ongoing expectations with the 听众.

  19. 这是一个老想法,但是’这可能是我最好的表达’ve seen. 的old T-shirt metaphor is brilliant.

    这里’s another example:

    当我以前从事销售时,我在电话上的收盘率大约是当下的三倍,而我无法’t figure out why. I was making the same pitch, the same way, to the same type of 人. I also noticed that existing customers preferred to talk with me over the phone.

    Eventually, I asked a few top salespeople about it, 和他们 told me it was about body language. Since I can’t move from the neck down, my words 和voice were saying one thing, 和my body was saying precisely nothing, 和so it was confusing. Take the body language out of the equation though, 和他们 didn’t think about it at all, 和so I came across as more 真实.

    Am I actually less 真实 in person? No. I’我只是以这种方式感知,在营销中,感知才是最重要的。

  20. 很棒的帖子,布莱恩。一世’我一直很欣赏您在今天取得成功的直截了当的方法’具有社会动机的商业环境。您关于使事物变得真实的例子使我想起了我读研究生时读的文化研究课程。我最喜欢的理论家之一,雅克·德里达(Jacques Derrida)曾经对我们如何个性化将军一般性做过扩展分析–他以支票上的签名为例。当我们在名字上签名或在支票上标记我们的名字时,它代表或表示我们的权威,但不能替代我们真正的身份。我们希望与众不同,并完全创造一些东西‘new’ – because the “伪造的可能性总是定义事件的结构,即签名。”

  21. T恤的比喻是惊人的。它’s a pity that 您 don’t have so much time as 您 used to, 您r 文章s 是 much more profound than from any other blogger I have ever read.

    We all have a lot to learn from 您.

  22. My blog is most often referred to by the 人 who email me through it as “raw.”我认为这是一个很好的赞美。但是后来,我的听众相对较少,并且出于专业原因,博客还没有出现。我开始将它作为一种重建我早已离开的日常写作习惯的方式。

    But I do think that 真实 和真实 emotions 是 what reach 人. 他们 can relate to it. Even the bad emotions. This is why there is so much talk in fiction writing about emotional 真相s vs. factual 真相s. Even if the setting, characters, 和events 是 all fictitious, the emotions need to be 真实- 您 have to draw on 您r own 真实 life experiences when 您 是 creating fiction. Otherwise no one will relate to the story 您 是 告诉ing.

  23. 真实性 is a way to build “liking”, which builds “trust”.

    And 相信 is powerful.

    But 真实ity is not the only way to get to 相信.

    I have little idea who 布赖恩 is. Yet I 相信 him deeply, because when I buy his products, he delivers.

    我喜欢加里·韦纳彻克(Gary Vaynerchuk)和佩内洛普·皮恩(Penelope Trunk)的教学,但是天哪– I often have to wade through their personal stories to get to the part where I can learn something to take action on. 他们 could build the same rapport with me by dropping the 真实ity, 和keeping the awesome insights.

  24. 我完全同意!



    I was shocked of 人’s reaction. I’ve always tried to be 真实 和honest with my readers. But it 真实ly is about saying the right things that 人 want to hear.

  25. LOL, I am not sure if it is 真实ity or simply common sense 您 是 talking about. Bad days 和flames 是 not good marketing. I think that’常识。不’t mean I’m not me when 您 ask. 那 being said, not talking about myself incessantly is again common sense for a marketer, 和I agree with 您 when 您 say 人 have completely lost their scruples 和common sense.

    • 您 may be reading too much into my opening Geoff. 那’s not the point. Even if 您’re “you” 和avoid crossing lines 和having bad days, no one way want to hear what 您’re saying anyway, because 您’re not saying anything that assists 他们 with the story of 他们selves.

      Not 您, personally, obviously. Generic 您. 😉

      On the other hand, deliver what 人 want, 和他们’ll forgive 您r bad days 和line crossing. Trust me on that one.

  26. 有趣的想法^^
    i guess between the agressive commercial campaigns, 和the full 真实ity of an individual, there is space for a balanced 真实ity

  27. Hi 布赖恩,

    I am 新 to 您r blog (new to blogging in any sense) 和so enjoy what 您 have to say.

    Today’s post is of great interest to me because my entire blog series is about the various aspects of being a human being. It could be augured that every “face” that we present to the world is 真实 in some way.

    的only way I know how to be “real” in my posts is to use a personal example (talking about me) in order to get 人 to talk about 他们selves.


    的one thing that keeps me heading forward is my love of this topic 和finding ways to give away all that I know about the subject.

    Thanks for 您r generosity,


  28. Great 文章, 布赖恩! Never read 您 before, 您 have a fan. Another angle, that all 4 t-shirt groups face, is how 您 want others to perceive 您. Sort fo the inverse of Socrates, Endeavor to be what 您 desire to 出现.

  29. Dear 布赖恩,

    Thank 您 so much for writing this 文章.

    I was just wondering about the strange behavior of my fans when I tried to reveal some facts from my 真实 life. (I thought I am obliged to be 真实. So I did 告诉 他们 something about my 真实 life from time to time)

    的third one was terrified when I mentioned I live in a house (she though I live in the apartment).

    I the end I 真实ized that my 真实 life has absolutely nothing 去做 with my business persona. I decided I will never ever reveal anything about my 真实 life to 他们.

    您 是 right. It’s not about me. It’s about 他们, absolutely.
    他们 do not want to hear 您r story. 他们 want 您 to give 他们 solutions to their problems.

    So 您 listen to what 他们 say. And when 您 speak, speak about their problems, not about 您rself.

    不幸的是,没有人关心“real 您”.

  30. 这听起来很像我今天从一位有魅力的教练那里读到的内容。

    他的观点是,与他人交谈时,请尝试与他们的情绪产生共鸣– that’s what helps 他们 to feel 连接ed with 您, to enjoy the conversation, 和to want to talk to 您 again. 您r end of the conversation is basically there so that he’我将有机会说出他想说的一切。

    Even though 您’re saying a lot, 您’re 真实ly just responding to what he’s saying.

    This is kind of the same thing. 您’re not lying, but “resonating” with 您r readers, 告诉ing 您r story in a way that just reflects what their feelings, thoughts, 和struggles 是.

    And in 真实ity, if 您’曾经读过一篇好文章或文章’s always because what the other person said resonated with how 您 felt at the moment.

  31. 是啊– 布赖恩 和Sonia 是 back- # # # sound of excited clapping .

    此帖是及时提醒– that while I might be the 真实 T shirt persona 和never shop at Target. Potential customers do not care! It makes great sense to have product/service options for those who 是 the 新 reprint variety. Otherwise there’ll be a Target version of 您 out there 真实ly soon 和the winner there is the customer.

    感谢高照度,这是我的观点‘to do’ list.

  32. “Your story absolutely matters, but only to the extent that it helps 人 告诉 the story 他们 want to 告诉 about 他们selves.”

    “Help 人 告诉 the story of who 他们 是, what 他们 believe, 和what 他们 aspire to be.”

    很好,布莱恩。我本周开始阅读Trimble撰写的《用风格写作》,他也提出了相同的想法,谈论“schooling 您rself to be other-oriented.” He 说 the “natural tendency as a 写r is to think primarily of himself 和thus to 写 primarily for himself.” We must overcome this tendency 和truly have a conversation with the reader. Engage 他们 and, as 您 said, help 他们 告诉 their story.

    Thanks, 布赖恩!

  33. “Who can I be now?” – David Bowie

    “Why can’t I be 您?” –治愈迷,罗伯特·史密斯(Robert Smith)

  34. 有趣,我没有’t thought about it this way. I am a big believer in being 真实 to 您r 听众. People can generally 告诉 if 您’re trying to sound like a perfect person in order to get 他们 to buy something vs. truly expressing 您r feelings. However, the t-shirt examples 是 definitely ones that make 您 wonder about the various levels of 真实ity. I would say that buying a physical knock-off like a t-shirt is something that 人 may be alright with, but in terms of taking personal advice from another human being, 真实ity is still important.

  35. Interesting. This is pretty close to what I asked for in answer to 您r question on G+, 布赖恩, so I should have read this, first.

    I will point out one thing about 您r T-shirt analogy though, is that although maybe even 90% of the market is varying levels of 假ry, without the 10% ‘real’ the whole market collapses. So 您 kind of need those 10% 真实. In Apple terms, 史蒂夫 Jobs is Apple 和he’s all marketing 和design, but none of it would have existed without 史蒂夫 Wozniak. And in later years, Bill Atkinson (who did HyperCard). And other 人 at Apple who did that 10% core of ‘real’ things (i.e. things nobody asked 他们 去做 和nobody even knew 他们 wanted until 他们 were done).

    最后呢’实际上不是关于什么’s 真实 和what’s not 真实. It’s about what’s 新 和innovative. To get to an innovative 您 just have to ignore the crowd. And in 您r dreams, years down the road, if 您 plan 您r sh*t right, maybe 您 will engender a market of 90% various degrees of ‘fake’. I guess that’这就是世界必须存在的方式’t that terrible, but those years down the road in darkness kinda suck 和I often wish there were another way, like maybe if I just blurted out everything I am doing, with zero care for what 人 actually want to hear, somehow everybody would automatically care because 他们’d只是意识到它的价值,但是那’太天真了’这似乎不是工作方式。

  36. Just the pure 和simple fact that 您 have a picture of the 10th release from Factory Records as 您r “blog graphic” 说 a ton about 您. Sharing simple details such as a favorite band (through a graphic or a t-shirt) can create a 连接ion between 人 that have never met before (or for the first time).

    的big question is…那张照片吗“Unknown Pleasures” depict a 真实 piece of vinyl from 您r personal collection?

  37. Amen 和Hallelujah! When 您’re marketing a product, it is about the consumer. When 您’re marketing a service, it IS about the consumer. When 您’re marketing a school, it is about the student. When 您’re marketing a blog, it is about the reader. Doh. Thank 您.

  38. 喜欢这篇文章。真实性在很大程度上取决于情人– I will decide if I believe 您 是 真实, not 您! 真实性 is not about 告诉ing me about 您 – warts 和all, because in many cases I am not interested in 您r warts! I will decide if 您 是 真实 if 您 consistently deliver upon 您r promises, 您 是 consistent with 您r views 和if 您r advice stacks up – in other words, what 您r promote does what it 说! 真实性 is like reputation –很难建造,但容易破坏!

  39. 感谢您的想法,Brian。多谢您在帮助自己的同时也乐于助人的观点。然而,事实是‘people’由于各种原因开始写博客。有些人这样做是为了表达自我或改变自我,因为他们寻求舞台和听众,从仁慈或恶意中传达信息。其他人则将其作为宣泄的一种形式,渴望找到内心的声音并哄骗它,以期建立起自己在现实生活中缺乏的信心。其他人仍然只是有东西要卖,被告知互联网是停放和吠叫的好地方。而且,有些人只是想违背常规……而仅仅是‘write’作为他们创造性表达的一种方式。 -关键是,对于许多人来说,并非所有事情都‘promoting product’……这也总是说明为什么有这么多挣扎的艺术家! --

    我认为这令人鼓舞‘authenticity’作为营销活动的组成部分具有美德。然而,就艺术而言,与我不同,并不是每个人都有‘their own story’诉说甚至渴望‘drop their drawers’ in the faces of the masses. And, in the rush to win the social networking game, fostering 真实ity can easily be confused with ‘selling one’s soul’, which is a completely different thing than building self-worth through the art of expression. A greater message is, as Dr. Seuss suggested, “Be who 您 是 和say what 您 feel, because those who mind don’重要,那些重要的人不’t mind.”

  40. 有时“real 您” can ruin 您r business reputation. I have seen that.

    Instead, 您 reveal only that part of “real 您” which is related to 您r business. And only if it adds to 您r credibility 和helps to establish 相信.

  41. Interesting post, 布赖恩. I think 人 often confuse 真实ity with 诚实. Nobody wants 去做 business with someone who will lie to 他们. But 您 only have to express what is relevant to 您r business, not everything about 您 personally. Customers don’不在乎您昨晚在电视上看了什么,晚餐吃了什么,孩子了’足球游戏,关于您在Facebook上重新联系过的高中好友,等等。除非您当然是在向网络销售广告,您在烹饪领域,在体育界或者在社交媒体营销中。也许这些事情就有意义了。但是你不’t have to be “you” unless “you” fits what “they” need.

  42. Hi 布赖恩,

    I absolutely agree with 您 和previous posters about the importance of sharing 您r unique story so long as it speaks to the unique stories 和experiences of everyone else 您’re 连接ing with/trying to sell to.

    When 您 were listing the different groups of vintage t-shirt wearers, I couldn’t help but notice the exclusion of the very important Group 5: People who have inherited/found the vintage t-shirts from their Group 1 parents who 是 different from the intentionally-seeking members of Group 2 because the shirts actually have meaning to 他们 beyond what’s printed on 他们.

    您 mentioned in the beginning of 您r post that 您 loved 您r t-shirts until 他们 were zombie-worthy rags 和that that in itself was part of the fact 和feeling of 真实ity.

    As an owner of my parents 真实 t-shirt discards, I wear 他们 with pride because of whom 他们 once belonged to–their history–不是因为我一定在意原始的Zantigo餐厅(我父亲曾经是经理),而是因为我喜欢它的外观和外观’s an ode to my pops.

    Translating this Group 5 into marketing/advertising-speak: this group of 人 fully understands 和accepts the fact that 他们 “weren’当它发生的时候,” but 他们 respect those who were and, taking their tried 和true teachings (read: t-shirts), 是 applying 他们 as 他们 specifically pertain to their 听众 和industry.

    Thanks for this post, 布赖恩. 您’我帮助我阐明了立场。


  43. 我从来没有遇到过深入探讨这一原则的资源。“The ‘You’ 那 People Want” than Dan Kennedy’s “Influential Writing” seminar.


    In this seminar Dan reveals his secrets to why 人 like me have clung to the same lessons he teaches over 和over again for five, seven, even ten years plus (I’m in this 10+ club). So if staying relevant to 您r 听众 is important to 您 和您r bank account, 您 gotta go stalk the interwebz to find this invaluable resource.

  44. 您 talk about the story of “you” 和“authenticity”, 和got it 发现. Applause for this post. I do have to add one thing though. People 是 emotional beings. We 连接 to 他们 through stories, 和showing bits of our lives makes 他们 feel like “Hey, 他们’和我没什么不同。”

    When 人 feel that way toward 您, 他们 suddenly start to know like 和相信 您 和that’s the 真实 battle. So no, we shouldn’t 告诉 他们 everything. As 您 said be 真实 when 您 have a bad day 和it comes back to bite 您, but learn to control what 您 let 他们 see, show 他们 您’re more interested in 他们 than 您 是 in 您, 告诉 他们 bits of 您r life 他们 can relate to, 和您 gain a friend. Even if 您 never learn their name.

      • 那里’在一个大屁股部分“Influential Writing”关于这个确切的话题。他指出了吉姆·罗恩(Jim Rohn)如何成为大师。是的,我想Dan在Sonia参加的研讨会上从房间的前面卖了这个,所以如果她有的话,也许是’在她捡起来的地方。 --

  45. 是的


    I hate ta 告诉 ya – old 真实ly aint “cool.”

  46. 真实性….once 您 can 假 that, 您’已经做到了。 (引自某人的语录。)

    Perhaps in business we just need to hear enough about 您 to know that 您’re a 真实 person, then get back to my favourite topic – me, solving my problems 和what 您 can do for me……

    当然没什么私人的。 (在这里插入讽刺意味)

  47. 哈!这曾经吗‘spot on’! Not just for Marketing, but for helping 人, listening to 他们, 和interacting with others in any 和every way. Everyone wants to 告诉 their story 和be listened to 他们selves. 他们’ll only listen to 您 in as far as it will aid their own progress. And the Vintage t-shirt illustration is pure genius because its too darn true for comfort!
    我不’t often comment on 您r posts, for which I apologise, but I do so enjoy 他们, 和您 have a gift for knocking the proverbial nail on the head! Irony, snigger, or 真实ity with a saccharine coating of irony????

  48. It can be such a fine line from being 真实 和trying to be 假. Great example with the t-shirt example here. It’s pretty ironic how that works out 和often ends up biting the person who is trying to be 真实 in the rear.

    Why does it have to be so difficult to be 真实 while doing marketing 线上? I personally have been struggling with it for a while. It might be because I’m 您ng at this point 和真实ize how everything I do will be 线上 10-20-30 years from now 和want to 出现 better but I’m not 真实ly sure.

    I guess all I can do is focus on being as 真实 as possible.


  49. 您’没错!当我们把自己全部放到那里看给世界看(没有任何抛光或化妆)时,我们’re definitely not going to be creating the best business relationships. Our customers 和prospects want to see us the way 他们 want to see us: As role models for fill-in-the-blank-with-your-thing-here.

    但是,要在哪里找到平衡点是艰苦的工作。我刚刚将自己的小企业重新命名,因为6年后“The Social Good”顾问,我只是厌倦总是要保持良好状态。 (加上,可混搭’的“社会公益”活动完全干扰了我的注意力。)

    但这不’并不意味着旧品牌’t 真实. It was just that once I said I was the expert of doing business in a socially sustainable way, 人 wouldn’别让我成为其他人。例如,我永远无法使用eff词。那只是过去’t…well, 真实. (LOL)

    这是令人痛苦的,因为我觉得自己正在像传教士一样重拾童年’s daughter. My parents used to constantly harp on us kids that we had to behave because everyone in the community would be watching 和judging us on a higher standard. And I 真实ly HATED that.


  50. 喜欢这篇文章布莱恩… I’m a storyteller by nature, in fact I spent 20+ years in the travel industry 告诉ing stories about Hawaii 和the 人 who live here, followed by 10 years coaching 和告诉ing stories about the entrepreneural lifestyle …这也意味着我也了解“tell” of every story. Still, I think ultimately what 您’re doing, the story 您’re 告诉ing has to resonate with 您r core values on some level because otherwise where’s the fun in life?!

  51. Nice job 布赖恩….as always.
    Is it possible to be 您rself to much? I find that some 人 claim to try 和be 真实 by adding tattoos, nose rings, crazy hair, etc. 他们 say 他们 是 just trying to be 真实, but it comes across as ore of a “Hey, Look at me!”

  52. It’很好。在日常生活中,我很难掩盖自己情绪低落的事实,每个人或多或少都会对此有所了解(即使我心情愉快)。在网上,尽管我总是尽力而为,但如果我感觉不到最好的话,我可能会赢了’被发布。我当然赢了’t be 线上 giving out about 人 和snapping at 他们. We 是 probably a lot more positive in the 线上 world than we 是 offline would be my guess

  53. 很棒的帖子thank 您 布赖恩. It seems to me that, like most things in life, our level of 真实ity is very context specific. 唐’t give enough 和人 don’t 连接. Give too much 和您 push 他们 away. We have to be very careful. As 您 say, 人 buy into an ideal that means something personal 他们 和we have to ensure that this perception of us stays intact. It must be very hard for Hollywood stars.

  54. 那里’s a difference between being 真实 to “connect” 和人 not 喜欢 the way 您 handle things. I agree with both these statements because 他们’re not mutually exclusive. People respond passionately because 他们 don’t like the way 您 responded 您rself BECAUSE 您’re being 真实 和他们’re 连接ing with 您. 他们 wouldn’t react that way if 他们 didn’t care (not necessarily about 您, but about the issue).

    It depends what 您 blog about, I suppose. It might not pay to be 真实 here on Copybloggeror HuffPo, but there 是 a handful of “popular” blogs I read that talk about 真实 experiences that, yes, help me (and all readers) relate to the blogger. 的20-something who had a kid 和went through PPD 和wrote about it hilariously. 的cyclist who raised a ton of money for an event through her readers 和backed out last minute. Both these women dealt with a shitstorm, but that saying “所有宣传都是好的宣传” applies here. Yes, 人 是n’不会喜欢你做出的每一个决定’re “real” but 您 can’t deny that 连接ion is what helps bloggers get 流行 in the first place.

    • Like 您r commentary about varying levels of 真实ity. This is far more accurate of 真实 life. I’我特别好奇的是,如何将一些博客载入博客’的自恋和缺乏深度,正成为Internet的轰动。
      Otherwise I had hoped this post would be about 真实 writing. Alas, it’根本不写。只是想对我生锈的文笔感到同情’s efforts last night whilst composing a blog post about dating. I loathe writing about romantic notions, but had to steer clear of schmultz 和self-pity or self-aggrandizement. Keep it focused, make it funny, avoid vapidity. Keep 您r reader in mind. 您’re not writing for 您r 朋友们; 您’re writing for those who read like 您 do.

  55. I’我实际上是在8年前就通过艰辛的方式学到的。


    It took several years to win 他们 back. Those years equalled to lost revenue.

  56. Pamela Wilson just posted that 您 should personify 您r company 和give 您r workers a face. 您r statement is to relate to the client or customer 和appease their interests 和goals. Some sales folk may take that too far just to make a sale present 他们selves as something 他们 是 not. Where is the line that goes from relating to just 告诉ing 人 what 他们 want to hear?

  57. Hey, 布赖恩 Clark.

    While I find the conclusions to be relatively worthwhile, I must say that I disagree with the premise of 您r post. I may have misunderstood a bit of it, but 我不’t believe that 出现ing 真实 is that wrong; however, I will agree that it is not ideal.

    For example, whether or not Group 1 is technically, on-paper the most 真实, in regards to sales 和the effectiveness of the strategy, Groups 1, 2, 3, AND 4 是 seemingly equal. In other words, if “authenticity”被用作营销工具,谁在乎“authenticity” is, well, 真实?

    我在博客上发表了反驳(http://www.evanvanderwerker.com/brian-clark-might-be-wrong-why-people-do-want-the-real-you/), that may be of interest to some of 您.

    埃文·范德沃克(Evan Vanderwerker)

  58. It’s funny 您 mentioned the T-shirts as I belong to Group 1, I have one set which 是 “行家荣誉的破烂徽章” 和another set which 是 at least 10 years old 和are still in the plastic until 他们 become ironic or vintage enough to take out of the plastic 和wear.

    A little like the vinyl collectors who have the original first press unplayed collectable vinyl records, 和then destroy their value by playing 他们.

  59. 我对其中的差异有些模糊“realness”在三件T恤之间。唐’t 他们 all express the wearer’s finding the logo’d实体在某种程度上具有吸引力?唐’t 他们 all advertise the wearer’的身份或某些方面? T恤有一个缓存’但是如果我们谈论椅子’d说一个是原创的,另一个是复制品或仿制品。人们期望一件T恤能说多少?
    Anyway, I 写 to add to 您r theorem; it seems that, in a consumer- based economy, the poor 是 unconsciously stigmatized for obviously not pulling their weight as a citizen by purchasing 新 stuff.
    I saw an art gallery exhibit in LA long time ago; the paintings were all the same size, white, with a black $ 和numeral on 他们 和that happened also to be their price. hahaha
    I’m imagining y’all in 您r faded, loose old shirt from Lady Gaga’s first auditorium concert before she was Lady Gaga. I guess it speaks for itself? Do 您 add some copy as to its derivation? Do 您 want to be noticed for some quality of 您rs that sets 您 above 和apart?
    OK, 我不’t want to get personal, 真实ly. I’ve never 真实ly understood the t-shirt thing or the appropriateness of worn clothing at events or at “a certain age.”它显示了是否在历史上消费,这可能是主要问题。

  60. 我穿我喜欢的衣服,不穿’抛开我是否’m在一组或另一组中。我的米老鼠T恤是我的最爱,让我微笑。

    其他收藏夹包括‘我找到了耶稣。 。 。他躲在沙发后面。’

    另一个喜欢的人描绘的是垂直的日本象形文字。经过仔细检查,它显示为:‘请 。 。 。滚开’

  61. 我们已经创建–现在尝试过– a massive double-standard 线上. 的code of conduct is “authenticity” perhaps because our truncated communication 和robo-assisted musings can so easily be crafted to represent certain aspects of our whole selves. But why 是 we expecting 人 to act differently on a keyboard than 他们 do in three dimensions?

    We 是 rarely our 真实, true selves – 线上 or off. 的人 that 真实ly 和truly know us 和get to see how we 真实ly feel or behave 是 our families 和a small group of very close 朋友们. For everyone else, we’重新进行某种表演。有时候’严重失真,通常只是轻微失真。例如,我自己的Joy Division衬衫来自第二组。 (尽管我在亚利桑那大学成立了大学广播电台,所以我认为我有足够的独立资格来争取第1组的会员资格)。

    的point is that we 是 ALL FAKING IT. And that’s okay, as it’这是我们达成共同目标和集体利益的协议。

  62. I’m starting to develop this way of thinking that we 真实ly live in 2 worlds: 的真实 world 和this “cyber-internet-based”世界。而这两个世界’t necessarily have to match up. What I mean is, that a lot of interactions that happen 线上 never 真实ly translate into a “real-world”相互作用。我们中许多人都有很大比例的粉丝,“friends” 线上 that we will never meet in 真实 life. And for many, this is exactly as we/they wish it to be. 他们 是 our 朋友们 “online” not in the 真实 world. And we 是 happy with that arrangement.

    So the argument is: what is the 真实 “online” version of 您 verses the “authentic” 真实 world version? And do 他们 have to be the same? 我不’t think so. I think 人 choose to follow 人 线上 that match an idea of a person 他们 resonate with. If the 线上 version of 您 remains consistent 和真实 to the story 您 是 告诉ing, 和if those that follow 您 线上 only 是 happy with that, then if there anything 真实ly wrong with the fact that the 2 worlds don’t exactly match up?

    那里 是 many 人 who I am aware of 线上, 和maybe I am fans of 他们. But I imagine I will never actually meet those 人 和have coffee with 他们. So, am I 真实ly interested in knowing what 他们 是 真实ly like in “real”生活?为什么对我很重要?

    我不’t know if this makes sense. What do 您 think?

    • I think we get too caught up in deciding either who we 是 or who we want to be … 和in worse cases, letting others decide for ourselves. This whole fascination with pigeonholing everything to death is morose at best. Regardless of who 您 是 or want to be, 线上 or off, what’最重要的是‘live 和let live’ 和to strive for living happily with 您rself 和the others in 您r life on a day to day basis … without beating 您rself esteem against the wall over 和over again.